Elitist Jerks

And that my friends my breakfast.
It all started when I got up this morning and went questing for food. At first I saw the tortillas and thought I can just make some breakfast burritos. So I wonder over to the pantry to find that we don't have refried beans for burritos but we did have chillie beans with meat. So I then spot the freitos and thus breakfast was born with a lil cheese to add.
So I was going though my high school blog posts and it seems I had a fetish with the word Plethora. I think its just because its one of those words that is just out right fun to say. Oh but on to what I was going to ask ( I get side tracked easily) While in preparation of my meal I hesitated as to which utensil to use. I am using a spoon but do most people use forks?

I hope some day to figure it all out.

On a lower (and sadder) note I don't think we will be able to see all the in-laws around thanksgiving or Christmas. Which is depressing because I find them a lot more like family than my own, (except for my mother but that's a complicated issue) I heard Steven talking to Randy and I think something might be set up for spring of next year. It would be nice to just see everyone again.

OH! On another note (this one much higher!) I have talked with the bishop and I seems that I am close to getting the Melchizedek (holy crap I love spellchecker). This is very exciting because I have tried to keep this quite from the family as I want to surprise everyone when I am ready to take Chrissy to the temple. (She deserves it and I wanna be what she deserves)

Well I have to finish getting ready, I have an another interview to go to.

thanks avid readers! (or reader as I am sure my sister in-law is probably the only one who reads my ramblings)
-Levi

Slowly

Well today was a nice day, I wasn't nearly as stressed as I have been. It helps when you take a step back and look at all the positives in life. I am healthy, my wife is healthy, we still can eat (cheaply but still food none the less), etc. I just wanted to say that even though I still cant sleep I have managed to "Slow" down my panicked stress/depression. Out of me an my wife I am normally the majorly over optimistic one and its about time I get back to that. Well I am gonna try to go back to bed, I need to color in some more black.

Rain

I just want it to rain on me. I want to feel something right now, anything more than this. I feel like I am spiraling downward and each spin makes my stomach churn. I wanna see the darkness of the gray sky and feel its tears on my face.

Sorry if this sounds emo but I needed to vent.

Its as I Fear

To night marks the 5th night in a row that I wake up around 1:00ish a.m. and cant fall back asleep. I think my sheep have all left me and now I try a different "game" to fall asleep. This game consists of me picturing those color by number coloring books but ever number is 1. Then after i see the picture all fractured up like a puzzle with 1's at the center of every piece I then start to color them in with yup you guessed it black. Alas this game has failed me also...

So now I have gotten to where i have to remove my self from the room as to not wake Chrissy from her sleep. She needs to get up early for work. I on the other hand have been looking for a job ever since I got back from GA.

Well if you are wondering why i went to GA it was because my uncle offered me a "well" paying job learning the marble and granite counter top business. Well after me and my wife had made arrangements to leave our apartment(as I would be flying up to GA with out her to start work sooner so we could have more money flowing in) and live with her parents. To be honest I was excited about learning a new trade as I am particularly fond of working with the cabinets that I had been doing most recently, and this felt like the next step up.

So after moving my wife back in with her parents I got on my flight eager to work. I soon landed in GA to find that it is extremely humid and really green but it was pleasant non the less. I met up with my uncle as I was supposed to live with him until the apartment Chrissy and I had talked to up there was available.

I started my work with the stones the next day after I got there. It was wet work (water saws) but it was simple and enjoyable to be creating something. Well after a weeks worth of work I received my paycheck.....
It was not only lower than I had been told i would make but significantly lower. I freaked out and confronted him to which his reply was that I would not be making that much money with him until a year or so had passed which to me and my wife's understanding was not what we had discussed before I flew out there.

So after a long phone call with Chrissy we decided for me to come back and come back fast. I spent that weeks paycheck on a ticket to fly home and now here I am.

I have been looking for a job with anything even fast food and I have my father in law as a witness that no jobs want me. I have tried everything and everything I am on craigslist 4 hours a day, I drive around every other day (gas is an issue) going into places getting apps or checking up on ones turned in.

Christina thinks that I am to conserned about what the family thinks of me and thats why I cant think. I know this sounds weird but the only family that i really care about is my mom and my brother and sister and my inlaws. Well I felt sick to my Stomach today as me and chrissy where in the bed room (double filling apps on differant computers for me) we could hear my inlaws fighting and from the sounds of it, it was because of my joblessness.

I feel that its not a lack of desire or effort but Please god hear my prayers! I am starting school soon just have some tax papers to take care of but other than that I am good to go.

I dunno its 2:01 in the morning and I still cant sleep. Maybe today will be the day I get a job. I can only hope!

re: your brains

Jonathan Coulton,
Is simply the best song writer of his time. Listen to him.

www.Jonathancoulton.com